Back when my son was about five years old, he was telling me something that had happened that day. I was busy preparing dinner and was only half-listening to what he was saying. He wasn’t happy with this and I was sharply rebuked. “Mum, stop what you are doing and listen to me!”

At the age of five, he understood that to listen- really listen- we need to pay our full attention.

Listening is an underrated communication skill, one that’s as important in our personal lives as it is in our professional lives. It’s also one of the core skills you need to be an effective leader.

Good listening reduces misunderstandings and conflict; it builds trust and increases empathy.

Have you ever been in a situation where you are telling someone something important and you know they aren’t listening?

According to academic studies, most people believe they have above-average listening skills, yet the average person listens with just 25% efficiency.

With so much room for improvement, how can you enhance your listening skills?

The Three Levels of Listening

In the book, Co-Active Coaching, Henry and Karen Kimsey-House explain the three levels of listening and how you can use them to develop your listening skills.

Level 1 Listening

Your focus is on your thoughts, opinions and feelings. You aren’t trying to connect with someone else. Instead, you are listening to make an assessment and respond. There are times when level 1 listening is appropriate. For example, when the waiter is explaining items on the menu, you are listening to decide what you will eat.

Level 2 Listening

Your full focus is on the other person. You hear their words, but you’re also aware of their tone of voice, body language and facial expressions. You are listening with your eyes as well as your ears. Level 2 listening creates a real connection between you and the person who is speaking.

Level 3 Listening

Also known as ‘global listening,’ level 3 listening focuses on the energy around the person. It is using intuition and sensing what is going on around them. It means being aware of what is not said, as well as what is said. This level of listening requires a lot of practice.

Many people spend most of their time at level 1 listening. When you focus more on level 2 or level 3 listening, by developing your active listening skills, you create stronger connections. As a leader, this will help you build rapport and create an environment of mutual trust.

7 Ways to Develop Your Active Listening Skills

As with all skills, if you want to get better at listening, you need to practise. Here are some simple tips for developing your active listening skills.

1. Remove distractions

As much as we like to think we can multitask, if you want to listen better, you need to remove distractions. Give your full attention to the person who’s speaking. Put your phone away. If it is an online meeting, switch off laptop notifications so you don’t get distracted.

2. Show that you are listening

Let the other person see that you are listening. Maintain eye contact, have positive facial expressions and body language that encourages them to keep talking.

3. No judgement

Listen without forming judgement on what is being said. You are listening to understand, not to form opinions or jump to conclusions.

4. Avoid interrupting to provide solutions

Resist the temptation to interrupt to give advice, offer your opinion or provide solutions. When you are actively listening, your focus is on the other person, not how you would deal with their situation.

5. Ask relevant questions

Ask questions to clarify points or to get more information on the topic. Relevant questions demonstrate that you have been paying attention and are interested in what is being said.

6. Summarise the main points

If you can summarise what the other person said once they have finished speaking, it shows that you were listening and really heard their message.

7. Listen to what is not being said

Observe the other person’s body language as they speak. Is it revealing anything extra about what is being said? Is their body language congruent with their words?

Active listening requires effort and is a skill that takes practice to hone. When we are better listeners, we learn more. We create stronger bonds in our personal and professional lives and nurture a crucial communication skill.

Listening skills are just one of the elements of successful communication I help my clients to develop.

I work with individuals and teams to unlock their speaking confidence by developing their communication and presentation skills. If you’d like to find out more about what I can do for you or your company, schedule a discovery call to see how I can help optimise your team’s talent.

7 Quick Tips to Boost Your Active Listening Skills