Nervous to Speak Up at Virtual Meetings? 5 Tips To Boost Your Confidence
Finding the confidence to speak up at meetings can be difficult enough, but doing it remotely brings a whole new set of communication challenges. How can you be sure your opinions are heard, or your concerns are validated when there are dozens of people trying to conduct a conversation through tiny boxes on a computer screen?
Despite the fact we’re returning to the office, a move to more virtual and hybrid meetings is one of the lasting legacies of the pandemic. We can do our best to replicate the in-person environment and make meetings as engaging as possible, but the convenience of meeting remotely is countered by some very specific potential pitfalls.
Communication challenges with virtual meetings
Technical issues
Meeting remotely means negotiating patchy internet connections, muting/unmuting, digital whiteboards, screen sharing, chat, polls, virtual backgrounds - and a myriad of other features whose “real life” equivalent is so much simpler.
Background and camera considerations
Is your camera placement correct, or are you sharing the dreaded “nostril-shot”? Does the lighting make your face look yellow? If you’re working from home, is the overflowing laundry basket visible in the background? Did your coworkers notice your partner dash across behind you on the way to the kitchen for a coffee refill?
Interruptions and speaking over each other
Thanks to a combination of lagging broadband and the lack of body language and other social cues we’d have in person, virtual meetings mean a lot of, “No, no…you go ahead,” ''So sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt,” and “It’s ok. Honestly, it was nothing important!” It can be really difficult to find the right moment to put your point across.
If you’re already struggling with speaking up at meetings, dealing with these challenges on top of that can be overwhelming, stressful and make it seem easier just to say nothing at all.
Building your confidence to speak in remote meetings
If you are nervous about speaking up at meetings, opting out and keeping quiet is not the answer. While you are not alone in experiencing these issues, it’s crucial that you address them and do your best to become more confident in making your contribution. Having your voice heard in the workplace is paramount, whether that’s virtually or in-person.
So what can you do to build your confidence in speaking up at remote meetings?
I firmly believe that whoever is leading the meeting has a duty to make sure that anybody who wants to speak has the opportunity to do so; this is even more important when meetings take place over a virtual platform. However, there are certain steps you can take to make sure you’re being heard by your colleagues.
Prepare for the meeting well in advance
By making time to prepare thoroughly in advance, there’s a lot you can do to boost your confidence before the meeting even begins. Get hold of the agenda and set aside a few minutes to think through the following questions:
What will be discussed?
What viewpoints might people have?
What were the opinions on the topic of the previous meeting?
Who's going to be there?
What angles might they have?
What valuable contribution can I make to the conversation?
You might have an important point you want to add or a question on what’s being covered. By taking time to prepare, you've got your head in the right zone when it’s time to go into the meeting.
2. Get ahead of the tech
Once you’ve spent some time thinking about the content of the meeting, it’s time to address the practicalities.
Background - Make sure your background is clear and uncluttered and isn’t a distraction from what you’re saying. Platforms like Zoom allow you to use a virtual background, so you don’t need to worry about tidying up before you start!
Lighting - Move to face a window if you can, as natural light is always best. If not, try switching on a lamp or two to eliminate any shadows.
Location - Find somewhere quiet, where you’re least likely to be interrupted. If anyone else is around, let them know you have a meeting scheduled. That way, you won’t be on edge worrying about impromptu interruptions.
Camera - Keep your camera at eye level so you can maintain good eye contact when it’s your turn to speak and avoid unflattering and distracting camera angles.
Sound - If possible, use an external microphone for your virtual meetings. Even using the mic built into your headphones will make a difference to your audio quality. When you’re already feeling nervous about speaking at a meeting, there’s nothing worse than people constantly asking you to repeat yourself because your sound is so bad. If virtual meetings are a regular feature of your work life, consider investing in a stand-alone microphone – the Blue Yeti is a solid option to start with.
We’re all so familiar with Zoom mishaps now that most people just sympathise and move on if the unexpected happens. But if you know you’ve done your best to avoid such issues, they won’t be playing on your mind and adding to the nerves when you’re preparing to speak in a virtual meeting.
3. Your contribution matters
Set a goal for yourself to try to make a valuable contribution each time you participate in a meeting. I say “valuable” because I don't believe in speaking for the sake of speaking. You want people to remember you for the right reasons. You want your coworkers to know that when you speak, it’s worth listening to.
In her book "Quiet," Susan Cain suggests that it’s often easier for introverts to speak up towards the beginning of the meeting - that way, you're setting the tone that you're going to be contributing.
As others are speaking, think about questions you could ask on the topic. If someone has given their opinion, perhaps it makes sense for you to follow on from that and add to it.
For example:
“I agree with the point Jean made a few moments ago, and I would like to add…”
It's a nice, easy way to get yourself started by making a contribution.
4. Pick your moment to speak up
The caveat here is that when you’re watching for opportunities to speak up, there’s a balance to be found to make sure you’re still fully engaged in the meeting and listening to what’s going on. Often, someone will make a comment, and you’ll realise you’ve got something to say in response. But you get stuck in an internal monologue, “What should I reply? Does that make sense? How will I say it correctly?”
Then the moment has passed, and in the meantime, you’ve missed out on the next part of the conversation, leaving you playing catch up for the rest of the meeting. So not only have you lost the chance to speak up, but you’re also completely unaware of how the conversation has shifted. This can make you seem under-prepared and inattentive - exactly the opposite of the impression you’re trying to make.
As hard as it may be, let the conversation flow naturally. Find a good spot to voice your opinion, and don’t think twice about speaking up.
If you miss your chance to speak up, don’t dwell on it. If you don’t find the right time to interject during the meeting, you can always follow up afterwards. It may not be as impactful as speaking up and getting your voice heard live, but it still gives you a platform. Then, the next time you’re in a meeting, your coworkers may seek out your opinion if they know you’ve had valuable thoughts to share in the past.
5. Take the pressure off and gather your thoughts
If you prefer a little more time to process your thoughts on a topic and don’t feel like you have anything of value to add in the moment, you can still create an opportunity for yourself to speak up again later.
When someone asks you for your opinion, instead of just saying you don’t know, try replying,
“I don't have anything to add at the moment, but I'll get back to you by the end of the meeting.”
This shows your coworkers that you are thoughtful and want to make sure that your voice adds value to the conversation. You may be surprised at how much respect you can earn by simply using this phrase instead of stumbling to form a thought or just saying you agree with another coworker.
Don’t lose your opportunity to be heard in virtual meetings
If you keep your opinions to yourself during virtual meetings and don’t share your thoughts in an eloquent and communicative way, then you’re hiding your potential. Choosing to stay silent might be the easier, less nerve-wracking option, but it’s also a surefire way to take yourself out of the running for opportunities for growth.
This isn’t a foolproof system, but these strategies can help make sure that you are commanding attention in meetings and getting noticed by those in leadership positions in your organisation. With a little practice, you’ll become more comfortable interjecting - and you’ll likely be on the fast track to a promotion!
For more tips to help you speak up with confidence
Take a look at these other picks from the blog:
5 Top Communication Skills You Need to Be an Effective Leader
3 Easy Ways to Improve Your Virtual Presentation
