You are at a team meeting and want to share your opinion, but something is holding you back. Perhaps:

• You are afraid of what others will think of you.

• You think no one will be interested in what you have to say.

• You feel you don’t deliver your message well. 

So you sit there, internally debating whether or not to speak up, when someone else jumps in and makes exactly the same point that you were thinking of. They get the credit, leaving you kicking yourself for not speaking up first.

Does this sound familiar? 

If you recognise yourself in this scenario, you are not alone. My clients often talk about the challenges they face in the workplace due to a lack of speaking confidence and how it’s holding them back in their careers.

Participants on my Communicate with Confidence course are often so relieved to find out they are not the only one who feels this way. Recent research has shown that 79% of women and 62% of men regularly lack confidence when it comes to their careers and speaking up at work.  

So what stops us from speaking up at meetings?

Recently, I conducted a LinkedIn poll to better understand the main obstacles that prevent people from speaking up at meetings. The results were spread quite evenly across the four options I suggested.

1. Fear of being judged

2. Fear of going off the point

3. Thinking that no one is interested 

4. Worrying about not delivering the message well

Remember - it’s not about you!

If any of these reasons are preventing you from making your point, try flipping your perspective. One of the reasons we hold ourselves back from speaking up is because we are focused on ourselves. What will they think of me? What if I mess up? What if I go off the point?

But… it’s not really about you!

When we switch our attention from ourselves to our audience, we immediately remove the pressure. Try reframing your questions to:

How can I add value to this conversation? 

How can I explain my point so that it lands with the listeners? 

How can I structure my message, so it’s easy to understand? 

Now the focus is on the best way to communicate your message to your audience rather than on you. 

Related Reading:  7 Steps to Making your Audience Central to Your Presentation

So how can you conquer your hesitation and make sure that your contribution is heard?

Even though speaking up at a meeting is often off-the-cuff, there are several ways that you can prepare for it.

1. Before the meeting- preparation is key

Take the time to read the agenda before the meeting. Think about:

- Which topics could you engage with?
- Do you need to do any further research on them?
- What questions or comments do you have?

Arming yourself with this information in advance will make it much easier for you to participate. You could also try setting a goal to speak up a certain number of times in the meeting to help motivate you to use your research. 

2. During the meeting- listen, think, speak

When you are focused on yourself, it is very difficult to be aware of what is happening around you. Use your listening skills during the meeting to identify an appropriate time for your question or comment. 

It’s worth noting that extroverts tend to think through their ideas aloud during a meeting, while introverts process their thoughts internally. If you fall into the latter category, you might find it helpful to have a “go-to” phrase prepared where you ask for some time to think through the ideas being discussed.

You could say:

“There has been a lot of detail in today’s discussion, and I would like some time to think it through some more before I share my thoughts.”

Or perhaps:

“I haven’t finalised my opinion yet, but from what I hear, the main points are…”

If you are concerned about waffling or going off-topic when you speak, try to create a framework for your answer. For example, a contribution that begins with “I agree with Mark’s point for three reasons” establishes a very clear structure that will keep you on track.

Remember, you don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to command attention and respect. As Susan Cain says, “It’s the conviction which carries the day.”

3. After the meeting- acknowledge your achievement

If you find it challenging to participate in meetings, don’t forget to acknowledge the small steps you make along the way in growing your confidence. Rather than criticising yourself for not speaking perfectly, recognise the achievement of making a contribution. It’s a start! Build on your speaking goals at every meeting, and gradually you will make progress.  

Don’t look for perfection when you are speaking up at meetings. As Winston Churchill said, “Perfection is the enemy of progress” Take advantage of every opportunity to hone your impromptu speaking skills and showcase your value in your organisation. Your opinion matters. Don’t let a lack of confidence stop you from being heard.  

If you or your team need further support with this, I can help. I offer regular workshops and one-to-one coaching programs to help you speak up with clarity and confidence. Click here to book a complimentary intro chat to find out more.